My "big red"

"Pay no mind 2 those who talk behind your back, it simply means that u are 2 steps ahead..."

I understand now why mom is always miserable to everyone but knob when knob does nothing. shithead (aka my "big red") put spoiled raw chicken in the trash a few days ago. The smell was ungodly! absolutely nasty! i mean worse than a putrid corpse. jess and i decided to throw the trash away after we got out of work. on the way back to the apartment, after work, i jokingly said "ya know shes gonna be and like watch us take out her trash..." i didn't think that kind of laziness existed outside my house. but she is so self absorbed i was expecting her to probably get up and go upstairs or something. or maybe not even be at the apartment at all (it was that nasty!) maggots couldn't stand that stink. it was not a comfortable place for people to breath.

"Allah, why must you do this to me?!" I thought as I opened the door to see "lil red" sitting on her ass on the couch. apparently kicking Lysol spray close to her instead of getting off her ass to take out the trash.

I was pissed!!! What a lazy bitch! Seriously?! aragh! does she need to be reminded that its time to take out the trash? like a child, completely oblivious to the plants dying until Mom has to tell them to do it!

Shes actually worse than dad! Its so gross! i had to leave the apartment when I saw her, out of the corner on my eye, watching us clean up after her ass!
I've been 4 calls into my mom. I need to tell her this. Tell her that I understand now. I see all that she has to go through (if not worse!) and I just need to apologize.


I went upstairs to my room to cool down and take a nap or something because I was honestly feeling like i was about to have a panic attack. I was that angry! I've never been that angry. I think mom has. That is when she has to sit down and breath.

After the much needed cooling period.. i went down stairs to drown my anguish in my cinnamon roll. She followed me upstairs to let me know that she was having Tanya over to watch a movie later, saying.... "I don't know what you guys are doing."
splendid. I going to decorate the apartment... naked. smeared in blood and repeating to my self loud enough so Red can hear "Jesus sucks... oh yes he does."
As far as I'm concerned. I'm so done! As if I wasn't done when my shot glass went missing. Bitch!

I'm running out of time so i have to end this entry... there will me more... much more!