The Orignal Sin, Revealed
In 1835, Søren learned why his father was an unusually devout Christian. (Michael was paranoid of God’s wrath against him.) Many years ago, while a shepard in the freezing hills of Denmark, Michael cursed the name of God, a sin he thought condemned his family forever. Søren did not help his father’s mental state by descending into a life of debauchery. Kierkegaard spent money without care on clothes, food, drinks, and a general pursuit of pleasure. As he ran up large debts, his father was forced to settle the bills. The young Kierkegaard’s behavior isolated him from his father.
The death of his mother, the calming influence in the household, likely served as a catalyst for Søren’s rebellion. The young Kierkegaard was unable to form a close relationship with another person.
Kierkegaard’s journals indicate he was not content with life, despite trying to purchase pleasure. Journal entries indicate Kierkegaard believed his life lacked any greater purpose. He envied “great men” who pursued interests with great success, while he lacked focus. Kierkegaard described himself as a spectator in life, someone learning about the views and theories of others while contributing nothing himself to the greater base of knowledge. Søren Kierkegaard’s sense of inadequacy persisted throughout his life. He wrote in his journals that his works would someday be important, yet that confidence did not improve his self-image.
Michael Kierkegaard died suddenly in 1838. The effect on his young son was extreme. Søren seemed to embrace his father’s superstitious nature, believing his father died as some form of sacrifice for Søren’s sins. During the next two years, the young Kierkegaard dedicated himself as never before to the completion of his theology degree. He returned to his former studious nature, receiving his degree in theology in July 1840.
